Chapter 4 – French Bureaucracy

(The battle continues, after taking a summer holiday…along with the rest of France)

September 2, 2003
On today’s agenda was a trip to the CAF. These are the people that were supposed to have provided my rent subsidies for the time I was a student here January-June. After finding out just before I left that they thought they didn’t have an important document (carte de séjour) and then showing them that they did, I thought my problems with them were covered, and that my money should be in my French account within days (the lady I talked to verified while I was there that everything was in order). Now, after the standard hour-long wait time (3 months later) I’m told that the carte de séjour I had was “unusual”, and that they had sent a message to Paris (in June) asking if it was okay. I was then told to come back when I had my new one, even though my new one has absolutely nothing to do with my old one, and they, in the meantime, will continue to wait to hear from Paris. Hmmmm….do you suppose 3 months is sufficient waiting time, and may warrant another try? I didn’t catch whether that was the intention, but I can only hope.

Next up was a stop at the Human Resources office at the university, to let them know I’d arrived, and to see what documents they needed. Sadly, that won’t be fully settled until I have an address…soon, I hope. Just to confuse me, though, they needed to see the exact same documents as I’m supposed to bring when I check in at the police “préfecture” in Colmar (which I have to do by Friday, or…I dunno…they kick me out of the country or something). It’s weird…since the university initiated my visa application (and therefore my carte de séjour application) I’m not exactly sure why I have to go to the police at all, but ah well. It’s a good excuse to go to Colmar; a beautiful little town 20 minutes from here, where it just so happens, a couple of my friends live.

Finally, to the English Department, to try to get keys to the office. No luck yet, but hopefully tomorrow morning. In the meantime, I have the rest of the afternoon to relax, then I’m meeting up with Andrea, one of the Italians, and just about the only non-French friend of mine still in Mulhouse. He lives literally just down the stairs from where I’m staying, which is awfully handy!

September 3, 2003
Another trip to the university to let them know I’m here. The head of the FLSH (where I so far will only be teaching one class) now knows. Still no keys, but they say tomorrow morning. A trip into town was intended to get me an apartment…Instead it got me an order for a chequebook, a fund transfer from my Canadian bank to my French one, and a 300 Euro charge in agency fees to look into my dossier. I’m very very concerned that having paid that there is no guarantee that I will get the apartment I want, although I believe I’m the first person in line (but at the same time I seem to have no way of knowing). Jean-Yves says I should bug them continually. Seems not unreasonable given my past experiences here. I figure on bugging them every day that I’m in town. Tomorrow morning brings another attempt at getting the keys, followed by a trip to Colmar to the Préfecture (where I have to check in with all my documents).

September 4, 2003
Still another unsuccessful to the FLSH for keys, but at least this time I got to the right person (I’ve passed the initiation process through all the intermediaries)…she just didn’t have my stuff ready yet…but she had stuff ready for the person that isn’t arriving for another week. Ah well. Such is life. My trip to the FSESJ was surprisingly productive though. The Dean (one of my professors from last semester) wasn’t in his office, so I decided to go via the intermediary again…it just so happened, she was in the process of preparing my papers, and was going to email them to me. I’m not sure I’ve ever had such timing. She’s very excitable though, and I think my showing up really threw her off, ’cause she was all over the place getting me a locker, photocopying what I needed. She must have repeated whatever was left to tell me a thousand times before actually telling me. It was pretty funny. Hey, at least she’s energetic, and actually gets the job done. That’s more than I can say for most people I’ve dealt with!

And the stakes go up. A call from the real estate agency resulted in some rather unfortunate news: I need a guarantor. And it has to be someone in France. This is ridiculous. My first question was “is a guarantor in Canada okay” and she said “no, but what about your dad”. I was impressed…that was certainly the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a while. Until she found out that I was a teacher (at which point she said I wouldn’t need a guarantor) we’d already been through this. It’s not like it’s not blatantly obvious that I’m not French, not to mention the fact that all the documents they have on me confirm that fact. She was then kind enough to point out that any of my friends could do it…until I pointed out that most of my friends are students. Vincent offered to ask his parents, but I could never let him do that. I think he feels guilty that he can’t live with me, because that would eliminate this problem entirely for me, but it’s by no means his fault. I’m just so frustrated! I mean, I do have friends that would meet their requirements, but how can I ask my friends to do something like that? As it is, they’ve done much more than I could ever thank them for. So tomorrow…back to the university to find out what they can do for me. I can’t imagine there’s much though. Then to the agency to find out what other options there may be. And I thought dealing with the university housing situation was bad!!!

Otherwise, things have been going pretty well. I’ve been out almost every night, and always meeting more people. I’m lucky to have such great friends. Helps me keep my sanity! I’ve been back to Murphy’s, and to the Shamrock, but not O’Bryans…yet. Apparently there’s a good bar downtown that actually knows how to make cocktails (I was starting to wonder if anybody in France did) but I’ll have to see that for myself!

Chapter 3 – Living arrangements (part one)

August 30, 2003
I’ve talked about the metal roll-down shutters before, and I can’t express how great they are. If you want, they bring pitch-blackness to the room…which allowed me to sleep in until 2:30 in the afternoon, without realizing it (despite having been woken a couple of times by the phone). It was great. Sadly, I had to actually get up and move around, because I needed to at least attempt to give Nick a tour of Mulhouse. Nico and Thibault dropped us off and headed out to go grocery shopping for dinner (Nico was having friends over, as well as his sister and her boyfriend). It was a short tour; we were both still pretty exhausted, and to do really touristy things required more than an afternoon. We headed back to Nico’s and hung out. The night started off quietly, but comfortably. After dinner, and particularly after Nico’s sister left, things got a little more (ahem) interesting. Apparently Thibault, Yacine, Hervé and Christophe derive much entertainment from taking Nico’s sisters’ clothes and doing a little modeling. The rest of us tried to convince Nick that not all French people are this way…some first impression!

I finally got in touch with Vincent; the guy I was supposed to be sharing an apartment with (I’d tried getting in touch with him over the summer, but his phone wasn’t working…as it turns out, it had been stolen). Bad news: due to circumstances beyond his control, he couldn’t get an apartment with me, and was actually in a worse spot than me in terms of finding a place to move to, but he does have to move…long story. He told me I could stay with him while I looked (I could only stay at Nico’s for the weekend) but that this week would be tight, because he’s got exams.

Earlier, I had also gotten in touch with Jean-Yves, and mentioned that I still hadn’t gotten ahold of Vincent. He told me he’d be staying at his parents for a week or two more, and if I needed, I could borrow his studio (his parents live near Colmar, about 20 minutes away…so not far). I hadn’t planned to take him up on that, but since Vincent really couldn’t conveniently take me in, I decided it was best.

August 31, 2003
We got up late, and just relaxed until Nick had to catch his train back to Paris. Nico, Christophe and I did a whole lot of nothing all day, renting Jeepers Creepers (in French of course) to pass some time. At 6:30, Nico dropped me off at Jean-Yves’ (in the same building that Aimée lived in last term) where I could meet up with Jean-Yves and get his keys. I took him out for a drink, and he headed home. Nico came back for me, since he had friends over again! We had a quiet night, just a few people, and an interesting game of Uno (they’ve got some interesting rules!). I got to bed early, but despite being exhausted still had trouble getting to sleep, so 7:30 came early (Nico had to get to work in Strasbourg).

September 1, 2003
We got my stuff into the car, and on the way realized it was September. Wow, summer really did go fast. Getting my luggage up the stairs to Jean-Yves’ studio seemed a lot easier than all the stairs in Paris, and Nico was quickly on his way. I wanted to get some more sleep, but I was meeting with Vincent to go to a real estate agent to see about housing (there are non-university-owned studios right next to the university ones on campus). After finding out that notice where he’s living now has to be 3 months if your a student (but only one if you have a job…okay, like THAT makes sense) rather than the one he thought (he gave notice a couple of weeks ago), he was more than a little frustrated. We headed to the other agency anyway, and he submitted what he needed. The agency costs are 350 Euros, just to find a place!!! (~$500) but they said they could hold one for him as long as he needs. Unfortunately the two we saw advertised were both taken, but a few are coming up. I’m to call back later this week to see one that should be coming available. There are a couple of other studios available through other agencies if that doesn’t work out though…I don’t know if that would mean paying agency costs to an agency that doesn’t find me something though…which is somewhat worrisome. Nonetheless, it’s certainly a step forward from the completely lack of knowledge I had about living arrangements yesterday.

When Vincent headed to the school to study, I finally got a nap, since I knew grocery shopping would be a challenge. My muscles are less sore (I really destroyed a few of them in the Paris adventure) but I needed to buy water and milk among other things…plus I’m staying at the top of the infernal hill that is UHA campus. It was as bad as I’d expected (surprising still though since last term I would often buy 6 – 10 litres of milk/water/juice at a time along with my other groceries) but it was a good reminder as to why I was able to eat so much here last time…I must burn a thousand times more calories here without a car, and with the hills, and being too cheap to pay for the bus, when I can use that money to buy better food! I’m actually looking forward to getting to that point again. I just feel so much healthier (mostly because I am) when I get so much exercise, and can enjoy so much more great food!

So here I am, sitting in my temporary home, furnished and complete with TV, stereo etc. It’s too bad I’ll have to leave! I just can’t express how lucky I feel to have friends that’ll do this sort of thing for me. Jean-Yves says it’s no big deal…I beg to differ! Anyway, I have no idea when I’ll be able to actually send these three emails out since I have nowhere to plug my computer into the internet. Soon, I’m sure. Tomorrow I’ll let the school know that I’m here…maybe.

Chapter 1 – Here I go again on my own…

August 28, 2003
…6:10pm (Eastern Daylight Savings Time)
It begins…no trip is without its oddities. I am sitting in the waiting area for my flight from Pearson Airport in Toronto, to Roissy Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris. The lady next to me has a dog in her carry-on. I really don’t know what to add to that…I mean, I can’t ask the question “is that allowed” because my guess is that it would be awfully difficult to slip that past x-ray security…at least I hope! Speaking of which, I made it through security without a hitch (despite later realizing I had accidentally left a package of razor blades in my carryon…ah well, I’m guessing with all the safety guards on them they should be okay…then again if nail clippers aren’t…

…7:05pm (Eastern Daylight Savings Time)
On board! My flight has a TV on the back of every seat, in addition to the bigger ones in the middle…sorry Air Canada, but I can actually watch a movie without craning my neck??? I’ve converted. Air France all the way (minus the strikes of course, but hey, can I really pretend Air Canada is better in that domain?). There are even little hooks on the seat backs to hang coats. Seems trivial, but makes a huge difference (or it would…if it were winter…but still).

I was a little disappointed to end up with a seat in the middle of the plane, instead of by a window, but the loss of picture-taking opportunities is more than made up for by the two free seats between me and the next passenger, so we can both potentially sleep a little more comfortably!

I’m also sitting behind the cutest little girl I have ever seen. In the airport she (a French girl) and a little Anglophone had a great time playing together, despite not speaking the same language. Why are little kids so much smarter than us?

Air France just keeps getting better and better. Before I left, Lesli had asked if I’d bought earplugs and such to make sleeping easier, and the trip a little easier to bear. It had never even occurred to me, but I wasn’t too worried. It turns out, I had good reason (I just didn’t know it). We were each given ear plugs, a sleeping mask, mints, a moist towellette, and ear phones…not just for use on the plane; the second plug thingy comes off so that they can be used in any normal earphone plug. Sure, they’re cheaply made, but it’s still impressive that they’ve gone to that extent! They also gave out menus at the beginning so you knew what to expect when dinner came around. Cool.

The safety lecture. Jerry Seinfeld and George Carlin both make great jokes about the safety lecture, but neither of them mentioned the funniest thing I’ve now heard…our safety lecture was on a video (of course, via the screens on every seat as well) and despite the otherwise good translations into English, I had to suppress my laughter when they noted that “it is strictly forbidden to smoke in the toilets.” What about just above the toilets? Would that be better? Okay, so I’m being really picky, but those cultural language nuances do make a difference!

I later learned later that most countries in Europe, including the UK, always call it the toilet (in France they use the plural, even when there is only one). To be fair, though, calling it the “toilet” rather than the washroom makes perfect sense in France, since these are often two different rooms. Sometimes there will be a small (sometimes tiny) sink in the (ahem) water closet as it is also called (or “watèr” or WC in France…where “W” is called “V” just to mess with the people that already have no idea what anyone’s talking about), but that is, by no means, the standard.

So here we go…taxiing…and the sun is setting on Toronto. It seems appropriate for me somehow. My new day will begin as the new day in Paris begins (although that isn’t a whole night away from now once the time change comes into play).

They never cease to amaze…the TV screens are ultra multi-purpose. First, after take-off, they show all kinds of interesting stats (speed, altitude, outside temperature, distance/time travelled, distance/time remaining, ETA…) Then a map pops up, showing the flight pattern (complete with a little airplane showing where we are along the route). After a few minutes (and 25 km…at 3000m) your other options became available; a choice of several movies, a set of 3 TV shows (including Frasier…I forget the others…I didn’t watch them), games, music, Comix, a feedback survey and, of course, continued flight stats. All this cost the same (at least via Travel Cuts) as Air Canada. I’m not exactly sure how.

A couple of years ago Air Canada advertised the fact that their overseas flights would have personal screens in the coming years – I guess I’ll be able to confirm (or not) the next time I’m in Canada if any of my flights ends up being AC.

…8:35pm (Eastern Daylight Savings Time)
Dinner: Coq au vin or canneloni, smoked salmon, a mini baguette, cheese, fruit compote and caramel cake…to drink: wine, perrier, or your standard pop/juice/water. Wow. The canneloni wasn’t great, but it wasn’t horrible, and the rest was quite good (yep, I even had some of the smoked salmon…it wasn’t bad…but after one piece I think the mere fact of eating fish started getting to me, and I couldn’t stomach the second. The cake was delicious!

A short one to introduce the long ones

This is just a quick note to let you know that my epic novels are coming (I was supposed to have the internet yesterday, but in true French bureaucratic style, it hasn’t started working yet…or at least it hadn’t when I left this morning…).

A short hello :)

Well, here I am in Mulhouse, and my battles with french bureaucracy have begun. I’ve been writing up my stories on my computer, but since I don’t have any way to connect that to the internet (yet), nor does it have a normal disk drive, I am as yet unable to send out my tales…and they are (already) long.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I arrived safely! I’m sorry I haven’t responded to your emails yet, but I will! I promise! Please don’t let that stop you from sending me your news and stories!

Anyway, my ‘net time is limited right now (ahh, internet cafés), but I will soon be able to respond to everyone that has written me, and to tell you all about the adventure that was my trip.

Talk to you all very soon!